


The Mechanical Tea-Stirrer

by MirandasMadeOfStone



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Drabble, Funny, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Vibrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-05-01 06:58:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5196533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirandasMadeOfStone/pseuds/MirandasMadeOfStone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a dreadful and ridiculous little effort for areyousad8118.</p><p>I am sorry it is truely dire. But there you go. It’s probably a 16+</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Mechanical Tea-Stirrer

**Author's Note:**

> This is a dreadful and ridiculous little effort for areyousad8118.
> 
> I am sorry it is truely dire. But there you go. It’s probably a 16+

Rae wandered back towards her mum’s house from shops of Stamford. Town centre was probably something of an over-exaggeration, but in theory that’s where she’d been picking up some lipgloss and other supplies from Boots the chemist and a necessary text from the bookshop. She would have liked to have rummaged through the charity shops or even tried a couple of the department stores for clothes, but her budget was strictly limited. Her trip back from Bristol on the train had cost a fortune, and vinyl was, and would always be, her top priority.

Pushing her windswept hair out of eyes, she caught sight of the chippie and thought about going in for a cup of tea. She was tired, no “hanging” was more the word for it, after the girls’ night in at Chlo’s. She hadn’t seen her best mate since she’d left for Bristol that September at the start of her third year and it’d had been a month longer since she’d seen Izzy. Coming home early for Christmas had been worth it, on the basis of last night alone.

Technically, the three friends were all currently single. Izzy was on her third break from Chop, something that Rae reckoned would be short lived. That was provided Chop really tried to make up for his latest drunken misdemeanours, as opposed to making a token effort like last time. Chloe was fresh out of an 18 month relationship with an older business man. And she? She’d had one relationship that had lasted a little over a year during her time at Bristol, that was now long over. He’d been kind, interesting, funny and good looking but something had always been missing. Since then, there had been plenty of dates and kisses, just nobody unique.

It seemed that quiet, kind, special men with epic music taste were very hard to come by. In fact, they were exceedingly rare. And, even if she were to meet another, they would have an awful lot to live up to. Finn disappearing off to Newcastle to study had been something of a blessing in disguise. Initially, she hadn’t been able to decide whether she was pissed off that he’d flitted off without so much as phone call, or relieved that he had been placed well and truly off limits. However, it meant that contact with him seemed so much less threatening such that they had been talking regularly and even sending the odd letter. Missed phone calls had now become a disappointment.

He would be at the party tomorrow night; the first time the six of them would be in the same place, at the same time, since Easter. She wondered whether their meeting for a gig in London would remain a secret. Possibly not, if they got into another drunken argument about music. Almost certainly not, if they danced like had when the band had been playing.

She mused that Chloe’s little gift last night should stave off her treacherous body’s desire to fall straight back into his arms. But for how much longer, she could no longer be certain. Things were different between them now, yet she couldn’t quite decipher the extract path that had changed, and was still changing, semantics of their relationship.

Opening the front door, she was greeted by Jazz and a pile of My Little Ponies that had once been hers. Laughing, she spun her sister round and carried her over to the sofa. She was happily brushing Applejack’s mane when her mother called through from the kitchen.

“Rachel Earl, can you come and give me a hand in here?”

Her tone did not bode well and Rae puzzled over what she could have possibly done wrong this time. Walking through the slatted doors, she found her mother sorting the laundry.

“And?” Her tone sounded far more sarky than she intended.

Linda popped the pants she was holding into the basket and then picked up a turquoise bullet shaped object in its clear plastic sleeve from the work surface and waved it at her daughter.

“This fell out of your jacket when I was tidying the clothes you so helpfully left all over the floor this morning.”

Rae’s eyes grew wide and she felt the heat in her cheeks. In a desperate attempt to save the situation, panicked words spilled forth from her mouth. “Why did you…I mean what’s it doing in the kitchen?”

“I thought it was some sort of special mechanical tea stirrer.” Her mother raised her eyebrows in that challenging fashion, with an absolutely straight face.

Rae’s mouth fell agape and opened and closed like a goldfish a few times.

“Well young lady?”

Her mother clearly wasn’t going to let this one go; she was now brandishing the object like some kind of wand.

“I ummm…..” Rae turned towards the door but Linda was too quick, catching her by the arm.

“Rachel?” Linda’s face was flushed and her nostrils flared.

“Look urr…Chloe gave it to me last night. She’d bought one each for Izz, me and herself. We’re all single girls and I’m sure her heart was in the right place. It was only meant as a bit of fun a giggle, not that you would know anything about that…”

Rae broke off mid rant to take a breath. Looking up, she saw her mother standing with shaking shoulders, a hand in front of her mouth.

“Mum?”

“Oh Rae.” Linda stood up, tears streaming down her face. “Did you think I’d never…..oh lord if you could see your face.” Linda barely suppressed a snort as she burst into laughter.

Rooted to the spot, Rae’s jaw hung wide open as her mind scrambled to find a gear, to locate some words, to do something.

“This.” Linda held the offending object aloft once more. “May be pretty but I expect it’s all show without much go. I mean it’s barely bigger than a lipstick. It’s nowhere near  the shape of the real thing. I really don’t think that…..”

“Mum!” Rae cursed.

“Well, I should know. All those years I spent on my own after your father left. I used to be something of a connoisseur.”

“Jesus”. Rae’s head dropped into her hands, utterly flabbergasted.

“It’s nothing to be….”

“La-la-la-la.” Rae moved her hands over her ears and shut her eyes.

When she finally felt brave enough to open them again, her mother still had the dreadful thing in her hands.

“I don’t want to hear another word about it mum.” Rae snatched it away and deposited it in the kitchen bin.

Walking away, her mother’s giggles echoed in her ears.

Later that night, she would come to wonder whether her gesture had been a little rash and the consequences this might have on her resistance levels at the party the following evening.


End file.
